Campus cell

Yesterday I went to a campus cell group led by ann.

At first I felt I was in a brand new environment,
a bit shy and a bit reluctant..
reluctant? o..no worry,simply reluctant to make new friends,
for there were so many new people that I don't really familiar with.

I am ppl of that kind,you know,prefer there is nth much change ard me,
Oh ya,that's will be the best if the earth is revolving around me.
Of course,that's totally out of question.

But that wasnt really matter eventually,
Everyone right there were friendly and also, funny. n.n

I felt so nice and warmly welcomed,
I mean..I am wondering from two years ago that what the heck kinda reason will make ann invited me to join her church family.

I mean..I am nothing.
Seriously,I am nothing.I am so tiny.
Even an ant may be larger than me, in the sense of contributing to the earth,
or to the will of God.

Yet,she invited me to join them for two years.
I can sense her sincerity.

I was thinking, "why? that's not really benefit her church even i join,I am nothing,I don't know how to serve and how to work,there will not be any bonus to them with me"

Now I know why.
That's a thinking of utilitarianism,
which means you are out if you dont have any value.
you are not worthy to live if you cant contribute to overall utility.
Yo man,that's Satan's lie!

In fact, in christ we love each other beyond utilitarianism,
we love each other, not based on how great you are,
merely because you are who you are.

However,choose to leave my church is also a hard task.
Ppl might wonder why,
I have to tell,to be honest,I also don't know..
I mean,my feeling is so complicated.
Yet please do believe me,I love my church very much.

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The campus cell group had a great and awesome start yesterday.
It is alike with urban life in australia.
I am not going to say this campus cell must be like urban life,
because I believe every cell group is just as if every individual,
is so unique and special.

Different ppl forming diff cell group,
so I believe and also looking forward to different "chemical or physical" reaction occur between us.

This gonna be different and fantastic.
And it starts at here.
ps: Not really sure with my grammar,I apologize if it annoys u. n.n
pps: Just found that this is my 208th posts!!

Lei Ming 25‘07’08